Ugly in Defeat and Ugly in Victory

this-is-what-yall-wanted-rightWhen I arrived at the office the morning after, one of my co-workers said promptly and cheerfully to me, “I saw you on TV last night.”

I was still relatively new to the office, and not yet at a place where I was privy to inside jokes or enough history to make anything more than polite conversation. So I replied, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, down at the protest at Trump Tower,” he laughed. “Did you have fun?”

I had not been at the protest surrounding our very own Trump tower, though I had seen the protesters on many of my social media outlets. I’d spent the entirety of the previous night sifting through the news – articles about the woman vote and Trump’s agenda for his first 100 days and tweets about violence directed at non-cis white individuals. And yes, I’d watched footage from the protests too, and been too tired to filter my mixed emotions.

godbless“I got a lot of good pictures,” I played along.

It wasn’t until later, when he made another joke about emails and meticulous record keeping that I realized – he hadn’t been good-naturedly poking at me for being in utter shock on 11/9. He hadn’t been trying to establish a light-hearted dialogue about freedom of speech and protest and the complete 180 our nation is about to be doing. He was mocking me. Continue reading

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